Rules for Dating My Daughter: Top 8 Essential Rules For You to Get Past My Guard as a Protective Parent
Every dad or mom has his/her own set of rules.
If you’re dating my daughter, I damn well expect you to follow my rules, or you can date somebody else’s daughter.
You had better pay close attention and get those memory cells working … Don’t ever ever forget!
You better abide by the following 8 Dating Rules – OR ELSE!!!
Hahaha! Please don’t date my daughter, or You’ll incur my wrath …
LOL and ROFL … Enjoy!
It is always polite to greet your elders.
If you’re picking my daughter up, you’re to get down from your car, ring the doorbell and exchange pleasantries with her parents before you set off for your rendezvous.
If you’re not polite enough to do that, I refuse to let my daughter date you.
Whenever you’re in a place where there’s the smallest smidgen of chance that I might be able to see you, you are to keep your hands to yourself.
While you’re at it, keep your eyes to yourself too.
Don’t look at anything other than her beautiful face.
I don’t care what the latest trend is in clothes or hairstyle, when you come by my house to pick up my daughter, you’re to be prim and proper and presentable – in MY eyes.
Trust me, you’ll appreciate this a few years down the road.
If you come dressed like a hobo, I will assume that you’ve come to rob my house and will call the cops on you.
The sentence speaks for itself – need I say more?
I trust that you’re educated enough in the sexual department, that you neither want nor need your girlfriend’s dad or mom, to be the one giving you a lecture about the birds and the bees.
I did recall in one of the earlier rules that you’re required to exchange pleasantries with me.
However, I do not recall asking you to lengthen your greeting into a verbal dissertation on a random topic of your choosing.
If I seem interested, please do go on, but if I look like I’m about to punch you, just shut it and sit quietly on the couch with your hands in your lap while you’re waiting for my girl.
No matter what reason you give me, there is absolutely no reason for you to make my baby girl sad.
If she gives any indication that she’s upset and the cause is YOU, you better amp up the security at home because I don’t know where you live but I will find you, and I will make you cry.
If my daughter asks you to do something, do it.
If she asks you to wait three hours for her, then bloody do it.
I’m pretty sure my baby girl has a damn good reason, for whatever she requests from you.
If you whine and gripe like a little baby at the drop of a pin, you’re not old enough to be dating.
In fact, “violate” should not be a word in your dictionary at all.
Back to her curfew – while exchanging pleasantries with me, I’ll have told you what time I’ll be expecting my little girl back home.
Bring her back by that time, minus half an hour.
During our encounter, I will also have asked you where you’re taking my daughter out to.
You had better tell me, and swear by Almighty God, that you will solemnly and sincerely declare and affirm, that the words you speak are true.
I will also require evidence of where you’ve been.
If you lie to me, I will somehow know by virtue of one of the fifty spy cams I’ve installed somewhere in your periphery, and you’ll never get to see the light of day again.
You’ve been warned.
There you go. Eight simple rules for dating my daughter.
If you follow these rules, you get the reward of dating my princess, and you and I will get along just fine.
Maybe – that is – just maybe.
(Last Updated: 18 May 2020)
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