Key Takeaway: Some say it’s impossible to turn a friends with benefits arrangement into a relationship. It’s not easy but it’s possible. Here are our top 8 tips on how to turn your FWB into a relationship.
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So both of you have been FWBs (friends with benefits) for a while now and connect in a way that you get the best of both worlds.
You get laid and you have a good friendship bond.
And the arrangement has been good, but you notice something has changed.
After spending more time together and getting to know each other, you realize a shift that you start to catch feelings for one another.
It’s very possible to transition from FWB to a romantic relationship, but it’s not going to be easy.
Here are the 8 tips we would suggest on how to go from friends with benefits to a relationship.
These will help ease you through it and hopefully come out victorious at the end of it!
Since both of you have been operating under the understanding that there are no attachments involved through your arrangements, you need to talk openly about what both of you really want and expect from each other.
From this, you’ll know how the other person feels about you and if he or she feels the same way too.
This is not going to be an easy conversation as one of you will possibly come out hurt and rejected.
So if you’re the one catching feelings, then be prepared that the person may not feel the same way.
This is the time to be honest with one another and talk about what you really want and what you don’t want.
If both of you have established that both of you are interested in pursuing a relationship, be clear on what kind of relationship you would want.
There are many things to work out to see if you’re on the same page as the other person.
Will you be meeting each other’s families?
What is the type of relationship you guys will be in”?
Will both of you be going off all dating apps and cutting ties with other people you’re seeing?
Are both of you going to only see each other or other people as well?
Both of you need to set a time period to revisit the conversation and if both of you are satisfied with the transformation.
Maybe give it three to four months and then decide if it’s working out for both of you so you won’t end up unsure of what the other is thinking.
Do discuss with the person that if things are not working out for either one of you, that both of you will let each other know before moving on to seeing other people.
It’s possible to want to turn a FWB situation into a romantic relationship.
And it’s normal to feel so.
The transition may not be easy but can work if both are equally invested to do so.
It requires a lot of healthy communication, trust, and not over-worrying about the transition and trust the process.
If both of you have agreed to do this, slowly introduce them to your circle of important people in your life.
You can start with something more casual such as small hangouts among friends and go from there.
Introducing them to your friends and family is a big step so only do it when both are ready.
Doing this will mean a lot to both of you and signify that both of you are ready to take things to the next level.
If being exclusive was on the table during the discussion, then both of you need to cut off communication and ties with people both of you have slept with or are seeing.
This includes unfollowing them or removing them from your social media.
A clean-cut helps in new beginnings and to give this relationship a chance.
Sometimes two people who are undergoing a major change like this can end up overthinking things.
This includes if the person is still seeing other people.
While yes both of you have begun the journey of taking things to the next level, it doesn’t mean that it has to be heavy all the time.
A key to a good relationship is also creating good memories together.
So plan fun things both of you can do together.
It could be something as simple as playing Uno Stacko while sharing a nice bottle of wine together.
And while you spend time together, it’s more likely both of you will open up more to one another and develop a closer bond as well.
It’s easy to get caught in a situation of spending all your time together and wanting more.
But it’s also good to spend some time apart and give each other time to do other things or meet your respective friends.
This gives space for each other to miss each other, grow individually and reflect on things as well.
Space gives clarity to shine on areas that maybe have been on your mind and need to be discussed later.
Everyone has different reasons on why they want friends with benefits and that includes men.
While many like to keep things casual, not every guy wants a FWB.
Here are some of the reasons why a guy wants a FWB instead of a relationship.
This could include recently being heartbroken over a breakup and the person being cheated on in the past. So the person doesn’t want anything that might hurt him but to fulfill his sexual needs.
The person could be in a phase of his life where his career or education is a top priority and doesn’t have the time as well as the mind space to be in a relationship.
As much as it hurts, a man has his right to his preferences of who he wants to be within the long run, as much as the next person.
You could be not what he’s looking for but still finds you attractive or interesting enough to satisfy his need in bed.
Some may find it disrespectful but if he’s honest about his intention including telling what he’s looking for, then try not to take it personally.
If you don’t like the idea of a FWB, just move on.
But do not enter a FWB with this person thinking he may change his mind.
It doesn’t work that way and you’ll risk getting hurt at the end of the day.
This may sound dumb but it does happen to both men and women.
Sometimes we think the person is too good for us and that a FWB is all they can be
So don’t look at it as it’s to do with you and that sometimes the person is struggling with their own confidence.
The person could be in an unstable part of his life such as being in between jobs, family troubles, or dealing with their own internal struggles that they do not think it’s fair to bring another person into the picture.
Remember that at the end of the day, when he proposes a FWB arrangement, you are not obligated to say yes.
So do think carefully before saying yes and do not settle into a FWB thinking his feelings would change.
That would be unfair for both of you.
This usually means that the guy doesn’t want a relationship with you but still finds you sexually attractive.
The reason behind this varies such as he’s not ready to be in a relationship at this point in time, doesn’t see a future between you two, or that you have differences in personality that he doesn’t think would go well in the long run.
Some may ask if the guy is being disrespectful then.
The answer is that it doesn’t mean so if he’s honest about his intentions so both of you can make an informed choice.
(Last Updated: 2 June 2021)
About the Author
Kelvin Kevin is the Chief Marketing Officer and Chief Content Editor of the World-Renowned HappyMatches.com Dating App and Dating Site. An avid writer since young, he is an Expert Dating and Relationships Coach for Casual Dating, Serious Dating and General Dating. You can follow him on Twitter (@HowToDateBetter), and also check out his personal Dating Blog, for the latest Dating Advice and Dating Tips to help Straight, Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Singles and Couples find and enjoy Fulfilling and Intimate Dating Relationships.
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