Key Takeaway: A friends with benefits relationship can be fun and add spice to your life, but it can’t last forever. It can be hard to break things off but it doesn’t have to be grueling. Here are our top 10 tips on how to end things the right way.
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All good things have to come to an end.
And the same goes for friends with benefits.
It may not fit your life anymore, change your mind, you’ve met someone new, or that you have other priorities in mind.
Even though you were not dating, it can be hard to end a FWB relationship with anyone you’ve spent time with and got to know better.
Although you’re thinking of fleeing the scene, try to resist the urge.
There are better ways to end it which are respectful to the other person and the moments you shared.
These top 10 tips will help you know how to end friends with benefits situation, and hopefully remain friends.
It may not be a walk in the park but it’s certainly not as difficult as you may think it is.
Take the time to run through your thoughts and why you want to end the relationship if it’s been on your mind.
Is it because you’ve found someone new?
Do you feel that the relationship is running stale?
Being clear with your intentions would not only help you during the conversation later, but also the other person understanding the reason behind why things are ending.
It’ll also ensure you don’t make a U-turn in your decision when you have the conversation with them later.
If you appreciate the friendship between you two, tell them and make sure they know that and that you value the friendship.
If you’ve met someone else, tell them honestly that is the reason, and don’t try making up excuses for it.
It’s best to come clean with it, even if it’s hard.
A friends with benefits ending can be gut-wrenching but it’s the mature thing to do once you’ve decided it’s not for you anymore.
If you want a friendship after this, it’s best to have a thorough talk with them about it.
Some people don’t take rejection well but if they see your honesty and appreciativeness, they would eventually come to terms with it.
Tell them that they’re still your friend and would like to keep it that way if they’re open to it.
If they did catch any feelings for you or even maybe you did, it’s best to give some space before resuming being friends again.
This would give both of you time to adjust and talk to them about how you would still like to be friends and maintain so.
Even if you don’t feel upset, give them time to grieve.
While both of you may not have been dating, it would feel like a breakup to one of you or both of you.
And let them know that it’s alright to take the time and that you would like to see them again when the time comes.
This goes back to having clarity in your reason to break things off.
When you’re clear with what you want, you won’t be tempted to go off course when the time comes.
If they try to bargain with you or persuade you to keep the relationship going, don’t give in thinking maybe things would be better.
Some may even ask for one last round of goodbye sex, but it’s best if you don’t give in to the request to avoid getting your wires crossed.
Once you’ve cut off the FWB relationship, do not go back to them thinking that they would be welcoming of your suggestion to pick up where you left off.
It’ll be unfair for the person and you’ll be stepping on a series of landmines.
If the person had feelings for you, you may be opening up the wounds again or leading the person on to thinking that there’s something more since you’re coming back.
To avoid an explosive end to your friendship, make sure you don’t go back on your word and respect that the other person has feelings too.
Some nasty things may be said during the discussion between you two and you may start to think that you’re a horrible person for ending it.
By spending time with the people who love you, you would feel supported and know that you’re not a bad person.
It’s important to remember that you’re not a bad person and that you deserve happiness too.
And if the relationship wasn’t doing that, then it was time to end it.
Once things are water under the bridge, you can start seeing each other again as friends for something as simple as a cup of coffee.
If the friendship is strong and there’s honesty between you two, you guys will bounce back pretty fast and will be able to go back to being just friends.
While you are totally cool about remaining friends, not all FWBs can survive the storm.
The other person may still feel betrayed or that they felt deeply hurt.
If that happens, then respect how the person feels and not push it.
FWBs are always risky and you must be aware that nothing is guaranteed in life.
Try not to hold it against the person and spread to people the things that happened between you two.
The ending of a friends with benefits relationship is never easy especially if the person is someone you genuinely like.
Find your ways to move on and make peace with it.
It’s important to know that life goes on and that you did what was best for you.
Ending a friends with benefits relationship can sometimes feel like a heartbreak, especially if you had feelings for the person but knew that it wouldn’t work.
But don’t waste time regretting your decision and do things that make you happy.
This could just be your normal daily routine to keep you grounded such as working out or start a project.
If you’re with someone new, focus on spending quality time with them then and not the past.
When talking to them, do emphasize how much you value their friendship and them as a person in your life.
Also, honesty is best especially if you’re seeing someone new.
It may be hard to tell them, knowing that you may hurt the person.
But it’s worse if they find out later from the other people and also it’s the mature thing to do by not taking the easy way out.
There’s no guarantee the person would be okay to stay friends with you, no matter how close you were before this.
It will be especially heart-wrenching if the person had feelings for you and wanted more, so giving space is very important as well.
Try not to push them into the friendship and put some distance to allow them to heal.
So, the best thing to do is to be genuine in your words and actions and hopefully, they would come around to see that once they’re done grieving.
All kinds of relationships can have a bad ending.
If we look at friendships, monogamous relationships, business partnerships and even marriages, they all can fall apart.
FWB relationship is a form of human interpersonal relationship that could end terribly, due to poor communication, a breakdown in trust and differences in intention.
But it isn’t more likely to end badly than any other relationship.
FWB situations are just like any other form of relationship but FWB situations are known to be one that is temporary and also known to be a “non-relationship”.
There are signs to look out for when your FWB relationship is about to expire.
Here are some of the signs you should look for:
-You stopped dating: A FWB is meant to be a temporary relationship that fulfils your sexual needs while having a friend. If you’re still on the search for something more but your FWB arrangement is taking up your time and effort to date, then maybe it’s time to shake hands and part ways.
– Your FWB arrangement is weighing you down: Meeting with your FWB should make you feel happy and excited. If you feel down when they leave or even when they’re around, it may not be healthy for you anymore and it’s time to call it quits.
– The sex is not so hot anymore: A FWB situation is supposed to fun, sexy and fiery. But if you don’t find it enjoyable or get you feeling thrilled to jump into bed with them, it’s time to pull the plug.
– One of you is catching feelings: There are rules in place for a reason here. But it’s not unusual for one of you to catch feelings for the other. If you know that the person is never going to change his or her mind about being more than FWBs, then it’s time to walk out the door.
It’s normal to feel hurt when a FWB situation ends, especially if you’ve spent a lot of time getting to know each other.
Some people can have FWBs that last for a year or so.
You’ve built memories together and perhaps even share an intense chemistry, that goes beyond sex.
Once you have shared things together often, it’s likely you’ll feel a certain emptiness when the person leaves.
There can be more heartache if one develops feelings for the other but is not reciprocated.
Rejection could also be key to feeling hurt.
You may start questioning yourself on why the person left and if it was because of you.
Truth is, there can be many reasons why it ends but know that FWBs are meant to be temporary.
If the person doesn’t feel the same about moving into something more serious, it’s not your fault or theirs as feelings cannot be forced.
If it’s meant to be, it will happen and if it doesn’t, it’s time to move on to find someone who deserves your affection and attention.
It may be worth evaluating as well if FWBs are meant for you.
Some people don’t do well with FWBs because the lines are not defined enough for them and that’s fine.
Some people also tend to equate sex with love and if you know you can’t separate the both, it’s best to look for someone who is on the same page as you.
(Last Updated: 2 June 2021)
About the Author
Kelvin Kevin is the Chief Marketing Officer and Chief Content Editor of the World-Renowned HappyMatches.com Dating App and Dating Site. An avid writer since young, he is an Expert Dating and Relationships Coach for Casual Dating, Serious Dating and General Dating. You can follow him on Twitter (@HowToDateBetter), and also check out his personal Dating Blog, for the latest Dating Advice and Dating Tips to help Straight, Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Singles and Couples find and enjoy Fulfilling and Intimate Dating Relationships.
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