Casual Dating: 6 Clear Signs You’re in a Casual Relationship & Not a Committed Relationship
Are you struggling to define this “thing” or supposed “relationship” that you guys have?
We know – everyone says it’s best to make your intentions clear when you first start out: are you looking for a Committed Relationship or are you just out to have some fun?
Well, here’s a penny for every time someone started out thinking they knew, and then quickly realized they weren’t so sure after all!
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It’s really not that simple, especially IRL dating, when you meet someone in a bar or club and take it from there. In fact, “casual dating” seems to be the default status of all dating in this day and age.
Nobody wants to come across heavy and potentially possessive at the start – but dang, keeping it light and breezy and obligation-free is hard, especially when this undefined “thing” has been going on for more than six months.
If you’ve been wondering about your relationship status, but haven’t wanted to be the one to call a DTR session, here are some tell-tale signs that you’re probably in a Friends With Benefits (FWB) type situation.
You’ve got a big bag and it’s usually full of life’s “essentials”, like you’re ready to pick a spot and set up camp at any moment – toothbrush, makeup, fresh undies, a change of clothes.
You subscribe to the scout’s motto to always “be prepared” – for sex at the last minute.
You seem to stay over a lot but you’re just not sure if you can actually leave your things at theirs – and they haven’t said anything about it either.
You just don’t know – and you don’t want to be the one asking “Hey what are we doing next weekend?” in case it comes across sounding like you’re proposing marriage.
But it’s getting increasingly harder to plan your schedule in advance, especially if you can’t say for certain your weekends will be busy with dating type activities (read: sex), and you don’t want to take the chance in case you miss out on anything spontaneous.
You constantly find yourself in situations when you trip over your sentence midway thinking about the right noun to use when referring to them: “I’m here to join my… not boyfriend. My friend. Person… I’m hanging out with. Human.”
You don’t quite know how to introduce them to your friends, but that doesn’t happen very often anyway.
You find yourself hanging out in their kitchen trying to pump information out of their flatmates about what they think you guys “are”.
Often you find yourself feeling like a PA while getting a download of a schedule of their following week’s activities – off to a friend’s wedding for the weekend, going rock climbing with Sasha.
None of them sound like they’ve been planned with you in mind, and your remit still revolves around “Not doing anything tomorrow, just chilling.
Wanna hang?” You don’t ever seem to do things together that involves any future planning or commitment, and any dates seem to be last minute type affairs.
You ruffle through their bathroom cabinets, you count the condoms in the pack, you lurk on their social media looking for signs for ongoing flirtations.
You tell yourself you’re cool about keeping it non-exclusive, after all, you won’t take it personally and you’re both adults with free will, right?
Well, only you can really answer that one.
They’re usually pretty good at keeping up the online chat, but there will be sudden periods where the proverbial line goes dead.
Your texts go unanswered (and even unread) for a week, there’s a social media blackout on their end (no new information!), and you don’t know their friends well enough to ask.
It’s probably nothing as sinister as what you’ve been driving yourself crazy thinking – they might be having a busy week at work, or they’ve gone away on a short trip.
They simply don’t tell you because you don’t need to know.
Our advice? Tough as it sounds, it may be time for you to wake up and smell the coffee!
Gosh, some of these wake up calls can be hard to take, especially if you’ve been hanging on tenterhooks hoping that this might evolve into something more.
Playing it cool can only last that long, and if you’re not actually into keeping it casual, it’s best to bring it up – after all, it’s not just a one-sided affair and you’re not simply a utility.
If they’re mature enough, they should be able to clearly communicate their intentions – either way, it will be a relief.
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