Friends With Benefits Relationship Advice: Top 4 Reasons Why You Will Never Be His Girlfriend
There’s this guy you’ve got to know as a random Casual Fling, during one of your flamboyant nights out.
You really like his company, and you’ve been content with the Casual Dating nature of your Open Relationship so far.
You’ve spent plenty of time together, and suddenly you feel like you want something more out of him, than just being his fuck buddy.
You don’t really want to bring about an awkward situation which will damage the current relationship you have with him.
At the same time, you want to know his stand on this matter. So that if you’re both on the same page, you can achieve your ultimate goal of a more Committed Relationship with him.
It can be really hard to accept, but you need to realize that it’s a fact that he might see you as nothing more than a booty call.
Even though you get along well as friends and in bed, it does not mean that he wants you as a girlfriend.
The following are the Top 4 Proven Reasons as to why he is not ready to commit to you in a Serious Relationship.
People lie and people hide what they truly feel in order to get what they want – that’s just how life works.
If he wants to get in your pants, he’s going to tell you that he’s totally single, and free of emotional baggage.
He might not have said that with the intention of lying to you, but he realized that he still loved his ex after being together with someone else.
We know, the truth hurts. To protect yourself, you need to admit that he isn’t with you because he loves you.
You’re just there to pad his ego and be someone to satisfy his lust while he looks for his next true love, or until he gets over his ex, whichever comes first.
Try to find out how long it has been since his last Long Term Relationship. The lesser time has passed, the more likely it is that he still has feelings for his ex.
Ask him what he thinks of your relationship, and don’t let him weasel out of the situation.
Press the cold hard truth out of him, and hit yourself hard with the facts, to give yourself a wake-up call.
Promise him that there will be no repercussions for telling you the truth, and keep your promise.
It is better to know sooner than later that he’s just using you, so that you can be mentally and emotionally prepared, for whatever comes next.
Think about how your relationship was with him, when you first took off.
Were you only contacting him whenever you had nothing else to do? Did you put him behind everything else in your life?
Initially, it was perfectly fine for you to have someone to go to whenever you were bored and horny. And seeing him once in a blue moon, was okay for you.
However, the time suddenly came, where you wanted him to see you as something more serious.
Even if he had liked you as a potential partner in the beginning, the way you treated him has probably put him off, and he very likely has someone else on his mind now.
If you put someone at the back of your mind, and make it so blatantly obvious, you can’t blame them for doing the same to you.
You need to let him know that he is more than just a means to release your lust. Show him how much he means to you, and how important he is in your life. This will make him consider being with you in the longer term.
Without giving each other an adequate amount of attention, it is impossible for a sustainable relationship to come out of a Friends With Benefits Relationship.
If you want more emotional commitment from him, you need to take the leap first and stop playing safe. Invest your time and attention in him, so that he’ll see that your feelings are mutual.
It’s strange how biased one can be, when we want to believe in something that isn’t true. Call it selective decision making.
You only ever see the good sides of someone, so you’re convinced that they’re perfect for you. You don’t realize that you put their hundred and one flaws into oversight.
You don’t mind that they don’t have any time to spend with you, unless they want sex.
You don’t mind that they don’t want to cuddle, or sleep over after sex.
You don’t mind that they don’t have anything in common to talk to you about, and you don’t know a single thing about him, nor him about you.
He doesn’t seem interested when you’re talking about anything else, other than sex.
He’s only keeping your hopes up, by stoking your feelings for him, whenever he sees you expressing displeasure at his non commitment.
These are all the signs of someone, whose heart is not open to accepting someone new into their lives yet.
They aren’t interested in an emotional relationship. They only want the physical aspect of it.
They don’t talk about feelings, or share an emotional connection with you.
They don’t even want you to know about their lives outside of your physical relationship.
They avoid talking about anything which could forge a deeper or more meaningful Romantic Relationship.
It is virtually impossible to be his girlfriend no matter what you do, because he isn’t opening himself up to accept your advances.
Sex is like pizza – even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good. Some guys are okay with sleeping with most girls, no matter how downgrading and derogatory this sounds.
However, they’re not okay with committing himself to the same girls he’s willing to sleep with.
Guys are okay with sleeping with people who they have nothing in common with, and if he’s not looking for you outside of a sexual relationship, it’s likely that he’s just using you to release his pent-up sexual frustrations.
You might be investing your time, emotions, and body for this man, but you should stop doing so if he’s not going to do the same for you.
People fear change – it is perfectly normal and it’s okay to be afraid of changing or even losing the relationship you currently have with him.
You need to put yourself first when making decisions. If you continue in this unfruitful relationship when you want something more out of it, there is a huge risk of you hurting yourself in the future.
No matter how good he makes you feel when you’re with him, if you’re not getting what you want out of a relationship, it’s time to consider doing something about it.
If you’re stuck in a limbo where you’re wondering how to proceed in your Friends With Benefits Relationship, look back on this list and try to identify if your friend falls under any of the above categories.
No matter the circumstances, make decisions with your rational mind and not your heart.
This is so that you can take the right steps, and protect yourself from getting hurt in the future.
Especially so, when you realize that all the time and effort you’ve invested in someone, is unappreciated and wasted.
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