Lesbian With Crush On Straight Girl: Top 4 Lesbian Dating Advice on How to Deal with a Straight Girl Crush
Congratulations! You’ve gone and made your life that much more complicated.
Oh, the sweet misery of falling for your straight friend.
Take heart though, it happens to the best of us – sometimes despite our best intentions, some feelings are simply undeniable.
Here are our 4 Exclusive & Proven Pointers for navigating this tricky course, while still being able to protect your poor heart.
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It’s a painful situation – here’s 4 Top Tips on how to get through this emotionally draining and painful situation … Enjoy!
We know, it’s doing your head in. On one hand, everyone thinks she’s “bi” at the very least, and you know she flirts outrageously with you whenever you’re together.
And yet, she claims to be straight, and you can’t get it out of your head, that it’s something she simply needs to work through and come out the other side of.
The truth of the matter is – you might be right, she might be a big ol’ closeted lesbian bursting to be free (or not), but it’s not your truth to tell.
Whether she’s straight or not, deep inside her soul, that’s none of your business. If she’s proclaimed to be straight, respect that.
It’s very possible that she enjoys the novelty of getting lesbian attention from you (and whoever else might be involved), but could never bring herself to date you.
And if that’s the case, you would be doing yourself a favor to extract yourself from this situation before it becomes any more problematic.
You can’t get her out of your head, and there’s just something about her and your dynamic that is so unbearably hot.
It might be worth trying to understand what it is that you find so appealing about the situation.
OK, it could be she’s just so gosh darn fine and you can’t stop thinking about her – fair enough.
However, if it’s got something to do with the fact that she’s that much more unavailable or out of reach, then it’s worth digging a little deeper.
Also consider that part of it might be this: Being in love with a straight girl is pretty safe. While it can feel torturous, on some level you know exactly what will come of it: nothing. She’s straight.
You never have to confront the possibility of a real Non-Platonic Relationship, with all of the possible risks that go along with the rewards, because on some level you know that will never happen.
Instead, you get to project whatever you want onto her.
It’s okay to get crushes on people who don’t have them on you.
It’s okay to be attracted to girls and enjoy hugging your friends, some of whom are also girls.
But the key to those things being okay is respect for people and for personal boundaries.
Especially when the both of you have a pre-existing friendship, it can be tricky when you start projecting your own agenda on the relationship, and start trying to turn it into something else.
Not only will she get a sense that something is a little off, it’s also not a respectful thing to be doing to a friend.
Friendship should be respected and valued and trusted for what it is, not for what anyone wishes it could be.
If you’re in love with a straight friend, and she’s explicitly said she’s not interested, but also keeps flirting with you, it’s okay to ask her to stop – she should be able to respect your boundaries too.
And then the unthinkable happens – something’s changed and now she says she’s ready to try something new and daring with you.
She’s ready to take your attraction to the next level, and experiment with her newfound sexuality.
That is, needless to say, fantastic news, but we should also drop in a cautionary note to proceed with care.
It can feel new and exciting to be your crush’s first lesbian experience, but do try to protect your heart and go into this with both eyes open.
So she’s had a sexual awakening – that’s merely “step one” in the long journey of self-discovery.
You’re going to have to hold her hand as she tells her family that she’s queer; you’re going to have to help her get comfortable with public displays of lesbian affection; you’re going to have to deal with her old boyfriends getting riled up and possibly sending you hateful messages on Instagram.
However the path twists and turns, you know you’re in for a pretty massive undertaking, so be sure to go slow.
Too often, it’s easy to get caught up in chasing a person instead of chasing a feeling.
And it’s especially hard to tell the difference when a person and feelings are already tangled up.
But think for a second about what you’re really after when you’re not thinking about this specific person or this specific moment in your life.
If you take a step back, you’ll admit that no one specific person can be wholly in charge of your happiness, so try not to let this attraction rule your entire world.
Respect what you have, and allow things to flow naturally.
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