The Friend Zone: Top 10 Reasons Why You Should Never Use the “Friendzone” or “Friendzoned” Phrase on a Friend
Are you one of those people, who put in huge amounts of effort to get close to someone, close enough to comfortably tell them you like them?
Do they turn their back on you and tell you that they think of you as nothing more than a friend, or a sibling to them?
If this sounds familiar to you, you have probably been in what people refer to as the proverbial “friendzone”.
People use this term all the time to joke around, or to refer to their failures in pursuing dating relationships or sex.
However, the misuse and overuse of this term “friendzone”, can actually be the reason behind the toxic attitude some people take on, while hiding behind this terminology.
Let us now find out why you should not use this phrase so light-heartedly.
There are absolutely no issues with being “only friends” with a person.
If you like them, and you love interacting with them, they can still remain your friend.
There is no obligation for them to become your lover. Being “only friends” with someone doesn’t make you second best to the person your friend chooses as a partner.
There is no correlation at all.
If you consider the person who friend zoned you a friend in the first place, it is only right that you respect their decision and the fact that they aren’t interested in you.
Who are you to decide for them who they can and cannot love?
It is your role as a friend to stand behind their decisions, because no one knows them better than themselves.
If they don’t think they like you in that way, respect their choice.
Don’t be that person who makes your friend doubt subsequent people who try to get close to them.
Don’t be that best friend who approaches and gets close to someone for hidden benefits. How would you feel if someone did that to you?
Are you really a good friend if you have a hidden agenda for making friends?
Do you deserve your friend by being so sneaky?
Ask yourself these questions before you get angry that your ploy failed.
When someone rejects you, your first thought is to protect yourself from hurt and to push all the blame onto the other person.
How about stopping for a moment to consider how your friend feels?
Here they are, not leading you on by telling you outright how they genuinely feel, and you get mad and spiteful.
How is that fair? Would you rather they accept your feelings half-heartedly and leave you after they’ve had their fun?
In the first place that’s not something they’d do if they were really your friend, so stop blaming them from protecting both of you from getting hurt in the future.
This isn’t an ancient era whereby you can force someone to bear with you till the end of time or until they develop feelings for you.
That’s inhumane and degrading for the other person.
Guilt tripping or pestering someone till they break down and agree on a relationship with you is not the way to enjoy a healthy relationship.
If they tell you they don’t want to pursue anything further with you, accept it and move on.
While you’re reveling in self-pity at being rejected by your long-time friend and busy hating on them, take a moment to think about what they might be feeling.
Imagine how horrible they must feel at rejecting someone who they like as a friend, and finding out that the person they thought was a friend had only come close to reap certain benefits.
It’ll be a double whammy of pain for them.
Sometimes, your friend might consider you as a potential lover, only if you had given more time for them to let their feelings develop.
Often, friends are so comfortable with each other than they don’t consider each other relationship material.
If you haven’t let them realize this fact before confessing, you might just have nullified any chances you potentially had with them in the first place.
The term “friend zone” has normalized the behavior of being rude or hateful to someone who rejected you.
It puts the person doing the rejection into a negative light, and paints them as the villain.
Since they were so mean to you, it’s okay to say and do terrible things to them, right?
No. Your friend has never done anything wrong to you.
If you’re only nice to someone when you think you can get something out of it, you are the villain.
Friendship is one of the most precious gifts one can receive from another person. It shouldn’t be shoved behind romantic relationships in importance or value.
Partners can always come and go before you find the right one, but true friends are everlasting, and you can have as many as you wish to have.
When you know someone well, but you don’t know everything about them, you start filling in these missing pieces with whatever you please.
You start forming a beautiful picture in your head about this person, but it’s not an accurate picture at all.
You spend so long falling in love with the person in your head, that you forget what the real person is actually like.
Your friend probably knows this, which is why they rejected you.
Being rejected by a close friend can be hurtful.
However, it is not right to put all the blame on the person who rejected you.
More often than not, the problem might lie with you.
Don’t hide behind and abuse the term “friendzone” so casually before you find out the issues at hand behind your rejection.
(Last Updated: 7 June 2020)
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