Platonic Friendship Definition: How to Handle a Crush On Your Platonic Friend in a Platonic Relationship
You’re happy and satisfied in your platonic friendship, then all of a sudden you develop a crush on your friend.
It’s finally happened to you – the dreaded friend crush. It’s the end of your platonic friendship as you know it. Right? No, not really!
We all have that person in our lives. The person we love being around, the person we love looking at, the same one who makes us hold our breath in admiration.
Are these feelings romantic? Not necessarily so. The person is likely someone you look up to and aspire to become.
These feelings can sometimes come with a huge surge of emotions, and you feel like you can’t live without them.
You want to get closer to them. You want to be by their side all the time. You want to become more similar to them.
You aren’t developing some kind of mental issue – this feeling is actually pretty normal! You’ve got a crush on a friend.
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Having a crush on a friend does not mean that you want to end up marrying them or even getting into bed with them.
In fact, these feelings are usually absent. It’s a feeling often felt between close friends in a platonic friendship.
This friend has a quality which draws you in and makes you really, really like them for a variety of reasons – it could be that they’re funny, smart, successful or just effortlessly gorgeous.
Crushing on a platonic friend could happen to anyone, at any age, in all walks of life.
You usually can’t quite identify why is it that you like this person so much.
Some people are just intrinsically charming, and most people like them at first sight.
This person could also have an ability which you don’t have, such as resonating with practically anyone on any conversation topic. People are drawn to qualities which they don’t have.
These people are pretty polarizing. You could be extremely drawn to them, but someone else you know hates them to the core.
It’s because they outshine everyone the second they step into a room, and some people are jealous of that quality.
Some others like yourself find it very attractive. These people can come and go in your lives, and you’ll be sad.
But the feelings are nothing similar to a heartbreak or a breakup with a partner.
It’s more like you’re glad you’ve experienced this friendship, that you’ve met this person before, and you’re thankful for that fact.
You can usually learn something or other by being around this platonic friend you’ve got a friend crush on and admire so much.
Let us get this fact straight and out in the open first – if you realize that your feelings are overwhelming to the point that you hate yourself for not being more like your friend, this crush is bordering on toxic.
You won’t learn very much from it, and it’s more likely that you’ll bash yourself up on the daily each time after you see this person.
That’s not a very healthy platonic relationship to have, and you won’t gain anything out of it.
On the other hand, if you still love yourself and you like being around this person because of certain traits they possess, having a friend crush could be a very positive experience.
The flame of this crush can extinguish as quickly as it ignited, or it could possibly last for a very long time.
No matter the time span, find a way to learn something from your friend, because you admire them for a trait you want in them.
A friend crush revolving around your friend’s looks is likely to fizzle out pretty quickly, because there’s a limit as to how much you can change your appearance to copy someone else.
A crush based on the person’s personality will be more durable, because you like their personality in the first place, so you’d like to spend more and more time with them.
You want to be more like them just as in the case of the crush focusing on appearances, but the difference is that you enjoy being around the person you’re crushing on.
Your friend could even have a mutual crush on you, but this doesn’t mean that you should change your platonic friendship into a romantic one, because there are no feelings of romance involved in the first place!
When your friend crush gets obsessive to the point that you start mimicking them from all angles of their lives, it’s time to wake up and put a stop to it.
Don’t copy the way they do things, because you’re your own person and what works for someone else might not necessarily work for you.
It would be better to learn how they do something and apply it to yourself. In that way, you won’t hate yourself for achieving things you could never accomplish in the first place.
It’s hardly ever possible to morph into someone else just by copying them.
Know that you have your own merits and attributes which other people find attractive. Don’t lose these in your attempt to become someone else.
Don’t be too focused on learning to become someone else that you lose yourself in the process.
It’s okay to have a crush on a platonic friend – in fact it’s perfectly normal.
However, when you compromise on your emotional, mental and even physical health in trying to become that person, you should take a step back and analyze why you’re doing so because it won’t be good for you in the long run.
Remember that you, currently as you are, are good enough.
People come from all walks of life. Some people can seem flawless and perfect on the surface, which is probably why you’ve developed this crush on your platonic friend.
You never know their history or what they’re hiding – the parts of themselves which they don’t wish to exhibit to the public.
Everyone has their own stories and reasons as to why they are the way they are now.
No matter how much you admire someone, never compromise on yourself because you might lose yourself in the process.
You need to put yourself at the forefront of your priorities.
Developing a crush in a platonic friendship is totally normal, in fact your friend should be flattered.
Just stay true to yourself and stay focused on improving yourself rather than becoming someone else.
And, this platonic friend crush has a great potential to improve you rather than drag you down.
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