What is Platonic Intimacy: Top 10 Platonic Dating Advice for a Successful Platonic Relationship & Platonic Friendship
If you’ve ever felt the urge to get intimate with a good friend, you’ll understand just how strange and uncomfortable it makes you feel.
What can you do about it? It’s not like you can control your feelings at the snap of your fingers. Or can you?
Should you do something about it? Is platonic intimacy really a bad thing?
First off, you should understand that the desire you feel is not something which you can hide easily. You will notice it.
The person you feel it for will notice it. Everyone in your group of friends will notice it. You just can’t hide it.
If this feeling is having a negative impact on your social life by making things awkward for everyone, it’s time to put a stop to it.
Otherwise, in the absence of other restricting factors (such as one of you having a significant other) it’s totally fine to enjoy the moment and see where it takes you.
If you do need to do something about it, that’s what we’re here to help you out with!
If you’re not acting upon something as blatantly obvious as that sexual tension you feel between you and your friend, something bigger is stopping you.
Either you’re attached, they’re attached, or both of you are. Or, there can be a multitude of other reasons.
Whatever these reasons are, you need to remember what they are.
Why you don’t want to be in an intimate relationship with your platonic friend.
List down all the cons if the two of you were to enter a relationship of platonic intimacy.
List down all the reasons why the situation would put you in a world of hurt.
And, refer to these when you feel an urge to make a move on your friend, or when they make a move on you.
Making a decision and sticking to it revolves around a willpower of steel.
With the list you made earlier, you’ve surely come to a decision as to what you’re going to do about this feeling between you and your friend.
If you decide to grind things to a halt, then do it. Make things come to a standstill, in the intimacy department.
Remember your decision and stick to it no matter what is happening or what temptations you may face.
Remind yourself that if you fall back on your own decision, everything will be your fault thereafter.
When you’ve made up your mind and you don’t waver easily regardless of how much your friend teases you, you’re setting yourself up for success when you don’t want anything more than a platonic relationship.
When you feel that sense of platonic intimacy welling up, it’s bound to lead to one or both of you trying to touch each other.
It’s inevitable, humans are wired to function that way.
It’ll be even harder if that person is your close friend and they’re always in close vicinity to you.
The “No touching” rule includes all forms of playful pushing, arm punching, or any other form of touch.
The more you touch them, the more sexual tension will build up between you – no exceptions.
You might think that the best way to release this need for intimacy is to flirt with them in a joking manner.
Hey, you’re flirting but you don’t mean it right? Trust us, you do mean it.
Things will only get worse when your friend reciprocates, and flirts back with you.
When you don’t want a relationship of platonic intimacy, it is of the utmost importance that there is no flirting involved between the two of you.
Even if it’s a joke. Even if you don’t mean it.
Think it through in your head – if it’s not something you’d say to a stranger, just don’t say it.
In situations like these, both you and your friend know it’s wrong if you pursue anything further.
Both of you don’t want to be judged for crossing the line. So don’t put yourselves in situations, where there’s no one to judge you.
Avoid situations where the two of you go somewhere away from the prying eyes of friends and strangers.
Always bring a third or even fourth person along. If you go somewhere with them alone, you’re just asking to fail.
Platonic intimacy is something which happens between people who have been friends or part of the same friend group for the longest time.
Confide in someone you can trust not to leak your secret, and plead with them to help you out in your dilemma.
An outsider often has a clearer view and a firmer stance, which will help you out by taking you away from the location.
Or diffusing the situation, when you’re trying not to cave in to temptation.
You know yourself best – there are some instances which make you feel this need to be intimate with your friend more than ever.
You need to make a list (yes, another list) of these instances and document them so that alarm bells will ring when you know you’re going to enter into one of these danger zones.
When you can avoid places or situations which might make you mess up, it’ll be easier to stay platonic with your friend without being intimate.
It is easier to stick to your decisions when you’re not in a place which clouds your decision making.
When the need to be intimate arises amongst friends, it is likely that these people have spent way too much time together.
The simple remedy? Cut down on that time. You’re only human, so staying away just like that will perhaps make the heart grow fonder.
The best alternative would be to go out with other friends, or better yet, go on dates with someone else!
Ask your friend to set you up with someone and see how that goes.
Even go as far as introducing your date to this friend you’re so desperately trying to avoid.
Or, if you’re attached, bring your partner along, the next time your group of friends hang out together.
When you feel the need for intimacy, the most terrible thing which can happen is you acting on it, by any way or means.
That includes making sexual jokes, or saying anything with sexual connotations to this friend, that you feel so strongly about.
You’re just making the situation worse, by making their imagination (and yours) work overtime.
This is the last straw – the last desperate means which you can act on when all else has failed.
You pretend that nothing is going on between you and your friend. You pretend so hard that you believe it too. You fake it so hard that your friend and your group believes it too.
Remember the value of your friendship with this person and remember why you cannot be involved with them in an intimate way.
Whenever you think about them, think about something else. Do something else.
Start a new hobby. Go for a swim. Go to the gym. Read comics or watch Netflix. Whatever.
Make sure that your mind is as far away from your friend as possible, and it’ll be easier to forget about them.
Dealing with an oncoming platonic intimacy can be the hardest thing you’ve ever experienced.
You know you can’t go through with it, but at the same time it’s so, so tempting.
You just need to stand by your decisions, and the reasons behind why you’ve decided so, and you’ll do just fine.
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