Define Toxic Relationship: Top 10 Ways on How to Detect a Potential Toxic Relationship from Kissing
Would you believe it if someone told you that it’s possible to detect a potentially toxic relationship from the first kiss?
It sounds awfully shallow to judge someone based off a sole indicator like the first kiss.
However, the way someone handles their first kiss can tell you loads about them.
What you’re looking for is not the signs of someone who’s terrible at kissing – you’re looking out for red flags they might exhibit while carrying out the act.
Want to know how? Read on to find out!
If someone tries to kiss you the second you meet them on the first date, strike this person out immediately. It’s one thing to be extremely physically attracted to someone, but it’s a whole other thing when they’re trying their hardest to act on that attraction.
Sure, you could be mind-blowingly attractive to the point that your date can’t control themselves.
However, if they’re not listening to a thing you say and spending the entire dating doing nothing but trying to kiss you while ignoring your reactions to their advances, ditch them ASAP.
A forced kiss can seem really romantic in movies where everyone knows that the characters involved are very much into each other.
However, in real life, having to force a kiss on someone, especially one you just met, often means that the other party isn’t interested.
There is no romance at all in having someone you barely know force their lips on yours.
This act of force shows that they don’t even care if you have the same sentiment towards them.
They don’t give a damn about what you want or how you feel. If not, they could be someone who spends way too much time watching romance movies and basing real life off of that.
Either way, they’re bad news. Steer clear.
When two people are in a relationship and are deeply in love, springing a sudden kiss on your partner might be cute and kind of romantic.
However, if your date springs a sudden kiss on you the first time you’re out together with no warning whatsoever, they shouldn’t be someone you would consider entering into a relationship with.
Life isn’t a movie – rarely, if ever, do two people meet and are mutually smitten with each other to the point that they have romantic feelings on the spot.
It’s more likely to just be a moment of lust and disregard for your feelings than true love.
You’ve pushed them away once; you’ve done it twice and even thrice.
Yet they’re still there trying to kiss you even though you’ve made it pretty damn clear that you don’t want to kiss a person you barely know.
If avoiding a kiss isn’t a good indicator that someone doesn’t want to be kissed, then nothing is.
Your date can surely see that. If they still keep trying to kiss you, it means that they either don’t care about what you want at all, or they can’t control their raging hormones.
Whichever one it is, they’re not someone you want as a potential lover.
You consenting to a kiss does not equal to you wanting sex after. Is this not common sense?
Not to your date, apparently.
If they try to drag you in bed or commit further sexual acts that you do not wish to participate in immediately after kissing you, your date is either a jerk or looking for nothing more than a hook-up.
A light peck on a first date is perfectly acceptable if you consent to it, and it can be even cute and a heart-warming show of affection.
However, if you permit them to go in for the kiss and they try to shove their tongue in during your very first kiss, it’s a major red flag which should ring plenty of bells in your mind.
If he’s ignoring any cues you give about where you want the kiss to go, it’s safe to assume that this isn’t a relationship you want to stick around for.
When you refuse to yield to their attempts to kiss you, their response could range from something like teasing you for being “old school”, to jeering at you for being “boring” or an ‘ole stick-in-the-mud.
Whatever it is, they should not be doing something like that to you.
If you don’t want to kiss on the first date, they are in no position to force you into it.
Coercion in any form is a major, major red flag.
If your date gets angry that you won’t kiss them, or they repeatedly ask you why you won’t kiss them, it’s time to get out of there.
They have no right to question your decisions as to why you don’t want to kiss them.
A kiss should be an act of mutual attraction and affection rather than an obligation which comes out of a date, so they should not be upset or even question you when you aren’t reciprocating their advances.
If your date starts berating you for the way you kiss, or being downright mean to you with regards to the way your first kiss went, it’s time to let this person go.
Toxic people do this to make others feel bad about themselves so that they themselves can feel superior.
Don’t waste your time and risk abusing your mental well-being with someone like that.
No, you aren’t being shallow for judging someone based on your first intimate interaction with them.
The human mind and body are programmed to be sensitive to what is best for you.
It is okay to follow your heart sometimes rather than relying on rational thought all the time.
If you feel like this person isn’t right for you based on your first kiss, then there’s no reason to force it.
You don’t have to feel “bad” for reacting that way – you have to put your emotional well-being first and foremost.
Most of all, you have to trust what your instincts are telling you.
These are just some of the things to take note of after your first kiss experience to help you decide if your date is potentially a toxic lover.
It is to be noted that this list is neither exhaustive nor all inclusive, and at the end of the day, it is best to rely on what your gut tells you about this person.
You don’t owe them anything – if you don’t feel like proceeding, it is okay to end things affably and move on.
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