FWB Relationship: Here’s the 5 Typical Stages of a Friends With Benefits Relationship
Friends With Benefits are a load of fun to have around. It seems like FWBs has become a popular millennials’ way of dating relationships judging from the increasing numbers of people signing up with casual dating sites (such as Tinder, Zoosk, Match.com, Adult Friend Finder and Fwbdr, just to name a few).
It is however, crucial to familiarize yourself to the rites of passage of an FWB Relationship and know what you should be expecting before getting involved in such a Friends With Benefits Relationship.
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The following are the 5 Typical Stages most FWB relationships will experience. We even included some insiders’ info on how long each stage is expected to last, just FYI (… you’re very welcome!).
Just like regular relationship dating, the start of a Friends With Benefits Relationship is always sizzling with fun and excitement. This is the part when you both would experience the thrill of the chase.
The agonizing anticipation when she sends a low blouse selfie (or he sends a topless macho selfie) to the time where you will devour her/him up in bed. Not to mention the exploratory sex you would be having, where you discover your new beau’s body, favorite sexual positions and (if you’re lucky) mind-blowing climaxes, pleasures and fantasies with a burning fierce passion.
This is the time where you would be highly aroused by her/him and would even go to drastic measures (think – getting a Brazilian to make it look huge just to please her, or wear a translucent lingerie to spice up the visuals for him).
In fact, some people are so addicted to this stage, that they would resort to seeking out more FWBs just to prolong these fun and fresh experiences.
Lifespan of this Stage: 3 to 4 weeks tops.
When this will set in: First meeting.
At this point, the lady/guy may start asking some questions (some of which you may find difficult or confusing to answer) to establish what type of relationship you both are having. Some of these questions may include:-
1. Are you seeing anyone else?
2. Should I let you know when another guy asks me out for a date? / Should I let you know if I’m asking another lady out for a date?
3. How often should we meet?
4. Should we meet only for sex or are we allowed to have dinner or movie dates etc?
5. How frequently should we be texting one another?
6. Should we have sleepovers at each other’s place or do we leave after the sex?
7. Would you be introducing your friends to me?
8. What are we now exactly?
You may also have your long list of questions that you would like to clarify with her/him; seeing that you both may have known each other for a while now. This stage is crucial and inevitable to move on to the next.
So, a tip is to clarify your expectations as much as possible, so that you both would be on the same page. Some Friends With Benefits Relationships may never get to this stage. If that’s you, then you should celebrate! Tread very carefully here – because you wouldn’t want to progress too quickly to Stage 5!
Lifespan of this Stage: Between 1 hour – 2 weeks.
When this will set in: Varies; it depends on the emotional state of your FWB.
This stage is the calm before the storm. Enjoy it while it lasts. After the tirade of questions in the previous stage and ascertaining the basic expectations you have of one another, now is the time to relax and enjoy the companionship (and regular sex) that comes with your FWB.
A FWB relationship at this point shouldn’t feel as exciting as in Stage 1, but that’s perfectly normal. It’s only because the novelty is starting to wear off, and the sex is starting to become, at most, mediocre (especially if no one is making the effort to spice thing up).
If only the world was perfect, time would stop at this stage; simply because there is a good balance – no drama, just regular sex. Treasure this time because it does not last; don’t say we didn’t warn you.
Lifespan of this Stage: 2 months
When this will set in: 2 to 3 months into the Fwb relationship
This may be confusing at first, but things may first start off with her/him being sweeter to you than usual (even if you may have already gone past Stage 2). You may wake up to your favorite cup of coffee the next morning after the mundane mediocre sex the night before and using that cup of coffee as a decoy and being in her/his extra accommodating self, she/he reels you in with the intention that you may picture her/him as girlfriend (or boyfriend) material. It is all part of her/his grand plan to hook you into a real romantic relationship with her/him.
Alternatively, you may experience the other end of the spectrum where she/he disregards and neglects your feelings completely, and ditches you when you initiate a booty call. Count yourself lucky if she/he is more direct – she/he may just tell you that she/he expects this Friends With Benefits Relationship to get somewhere, and that there’s no point seeing each other anymore if it’s not going to.
Lifespan of this Stage: 1-3 weeks
When this will set in: 3 to 4 months into the Fwb relationship
Obviously, if you have reached Stage 4 as described earlier, it is time to make some important decisions. At this stage, she/he will be expecting clear decisions to point her/him in the direction if she/he should move on, or to progress to the next phase of a (stable & genuine) serious relationship with you.
Should you decide to let her/him go, do be clear and extremely mindful of your words to her/him. She/He may be quite invested in you at this point and you do not want a drama to ensue.
The last thing you’d like to happen is to end things on a sour note, only to have her/him gossiping to her girlfriends (or his guy friends) about how mediocre you are in bed.
Hell hath no fury like a woman (or even a man) scorned. You have been warned!
Lifespan of this Stage: Ranges from 10 minutes to your entire life
When this will set in: 5 to 6 months into the Fwb relationship
The bottom line? Every Friends With Benefits Relationship is unique, because obviously, no two persons are the same. Some people remain at Stage 1 for eternity (lucky them!), while others escalate to Stage 5 pretty quickly.
Whatever the case, your aim would be to remain at Stage 1 or Stage 3 of the FWB Relationship for as long as you can. Tread carefully if you hit Stage 2 (Inquisition), because things may escalate quicker than you think.
An ideal Friends With Benefits Relationship should cycle between Stages 1, 2 and 3, but more often than not, people get caught up with emotions and unnecessary drama.
Now that you’re aware of the typical stages of a FWB Relationship, which stage are you at?