What Does Friends With Benefits Mean To A Guy: Top 4 Reasons Why You’re His Side Hoe & Not His Girlfriend
You’ve known this guy for quite some time now. It all start with a passionate and half-drunken night at the club or bar and you’ve found that you both like how each other performed in bed.
Now that time has passed and you’ve gotten to know him better, you’re interested in becoming something more to him than just a friend with benefits.
You don’t know how to bring up the topic since you’ve never done so in the time you’ve been with him. You don’t know what he wants out of this relationship with you.
You’re both clearly attracted to each other, but you don’t quite know the difference it makes to him between having you as his FWB vs having you as his girlfriend. So you don’t understand why he won’t just commit to being your boyfriend.
You’re clearly curious to find out why, so read on to find out What does Friends With Benefits Mean to a Guy! … Enjoy!
This is the number one reason guys come up with when, their Friend With Benefits asks for their relationship to be something more than Casual Relationship. Often, the girl has no idea how to answer him either. And as such she’s stuck in the FWB Relationship.
Hooking Up with someone has become more common and accepted in today’s society of late – be it a One Night Stand or a blind date, with a friend or an acquaintance. Singles who are new to the Hookup Culture are often drawn into it unintentionally.
They’re presented with a difficult or uncomfortable situation out of the blue, and agree just not to be a “spoil sport” or to avoid disappointing whoever it was that asked.
With the advent of Online Dating, Casual Hookups have become even more common, with people meeting up with their Dating Site and Dating App matches just to get laid.
As a girl, pretty much everything you do or say which doesn’t directly reject a guy, is taken by him as a “yes” to a Casual Encounter. Kind of scary, but true. By the time you realize what has happened, it’s usually too late to back out.
You should never have Hooked Up with a guy with the hope that he’ll fall in love with you in the long run, because that only happens in movies usually.
Your NSA Relationship which started and progressed revolving around sex will never have an incentive to develop emotionally.
If you had never told this guy at the start that you want a boyfriend or some level of emotional involvement, you’ve unintentionally given him the consent to treat you as his booty call.
You’ll see this fact in the shock he expresses when you mention wanting to progress to a more Serious Relationship.
Women are creatures who think a lot (and overthink) things she’s about to say (or isn’t going to say).
Often in the process, she ends up not saying anything and ending up with a bucket-load of pent up emotions without ever expressing what she needed to.
Many women end up in a Friends With Benefits Relationship because they don’t want to challenge anything their friend said, or wanted to make it seem like she didn’t care.
These are probably the biggest mistakes a woman can make if that’s not the route she wants to go down on.
If you tell a guy you’re okay with being in an FWB Relationship but you secretly want a long-term Romantic Relationship, how is he supposed to know?
Unlike what romantic movies and novels portray, men are not mind readers. They won’t automatically know what you want after spending a few weeks or even months with you.
Women are often too timid to tell her FWB that she wants something more out of the Casual Relationship, for fear that he’ll pack his bags and run.
However, if you do want to move on from your current situation, you need to take a leap of courage and tell him the truth as to what you want from him.
If you don’t, your other option is to remain content with what you have – staying in the Casual Dating Relationship as you are doing right now.
Think about the situation in a more objective manner, and you might just understand his point of view.
He’s pretty much getting sexual gratification and companionship from you, but without investing the time, emotional and financial commitment which a boyfriend has to pay.
What reason is there really for him to want to be your boyfriend when he currently has the best of both worlds?
Keep in mind that in an Open Relationship such as an FWB one, the guy is free to leave you as and when he pleases. Some men enjoy this freedom and much prefer it rather than being tied down to one girl before he’s had his fair share of fun.
You’ve probably landed in your current situation because you agreed to sleep with him as soon as he asked. In his mind, that throws you into the “Fling” category rather than the one for serious girlfriends.
Of course, there are rare situations where people sleep with each other first, and find such great compatibility that they end up Serious Dating.
However, such situations are more common in the fantasy world rather than in the harshness of reality.
If you agree to have sex with him too easily, there’s also the chance that he thinks you do the same for all other men anyway. He doesn’t want to end up with “used goods”, but he’s okay with being one of the users as long as he doesn’t own it.
It hurts, but that’s the truth which you need to realize to prevent this scenario from repeating itself.
It is a misconception which TV sitcoms make us believe that all men are desperate to find a girlfriend. As hard it is to believe, lots of men don’t mind carrying a single status.
That is not to say they don’t enjoy sex and having someone around as a companion, but they don’t place these at the top of their priority list.
Some guys value their personal time, a lot of which would be taken up if he had a girlfriend.
Some guys are chasing after advancements in their career, or they just value time with their friends, more than committing all this time to a single girl.
He’s probably very contented with his current life and does not wish to get a girlfriend for the sake of getting one – which could possibly disrupt this careful balance which he has created for himself.
This is probably why he does not want to add you to the equation as anything more than a Hook Up.
He could also be looking for “the one”, and you just aren’t that person.
There are many reasons as to why a man would not want his FWB to become his girlfriend.
Some of them you can prevent or do something about, others you can’t.
Either way, if you want your Casual Relationship with your man to change to something more than a Hook Up, you need to let him know, and do something about it at the same time.
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