What Is A Demi Sexual: Meaning & Definition of Demisexual - Understanding the Basics of Demi Sexuality

What Is A Demi Sexual: Meaning & Definition of Demisexual – Understanding the Basics of Demi Sexuality

All of us know, that one person in our friends’ group, who changes crushes more often than they change their clothes.

They are constantly harping on a new person who is the current love of their lives till the next minute when a different hottie walks past.

You might even have a group of friends who act in this way.

You, however, have never understood why they behave the way they do – how can someone fall in and out of love so easily?!

If you’ve never understood the feeling of falling for a random good-looking person, you might be a Demisexual.

Demi Sexuals are people who don’t base sexual attraction off how attractive someone looks externally.

They value a person’s inner qualities more, and simply cannot be sexually attracted unless they feel a deep emotional connection.


What is a Demi Sexual

If you’ve never heard of the term “Demi Sexual”, you’re not alone! It can be difficult to believe that you’re not the only one who feels this way, but other Demisexuals do exist.

Read on to find out more about the basic workings of a demi sexual.

Over in this article, let us share with you the Top 5 Characteristics of a Demisexual … Enjoy!


1. The First Date is Not the Be All or End All of Relationships

Some people act on carnal lust, whereby they get all hot and heavy immediately with someone they find attractive.

As with common Online Dating culture which has become widely accepted, it has become the norm to hook up with someone on your first date to check out your “physical chemistry”.

This kind of Dating Culture horrifies the Demi Sexual – they can’t fathom how people can get into bed, with someone they just met.

On the other side of the coin, it might be difficult for a Demisexual, to find someone who’s willing to think that they’re “worth the wait”.

Most people will just think they’re playing hard to get, when they find out that the Demi Sexual individual, is not willing to commit sexually on the first date.

If you’re someone who feels the way described above, you might be a Demisexual – and it is perfectly okay.

There is no point conforming to the standards set by someone else and betraying your own principles.

Just be yourself! You’re “YOU”, and just uniquely YOU!


2. Demi Sexuality is Not Bound by Gender Roles

People somehow have the misconception, that Demisexuality is a concept made up by women who are playing hard to get.

This is not true.

No matter what gender you identify as, you can be a Demi Sexual.

There is no correlation between gender and identifying as a Demisexual whatsoever.

It is a way of thinking which depends on the individual, not the mindset of a group of people.


3. Demi Sexuality is Not Bound by Sexual Preference

Being a Demi Sexual is not something, that is restricted to those who identify as heterosexuals.

Homosexuals or Bisexuals can be Demisexual at the same time. It is the way in which they approach a relationship that Demi Sexuals differ from other people.

Just like how people of all sexual orientations, can choose to only engage in One Night Stands or prefer Serious Relationships only, the same applies to Demi Sexuality.


4. Online Dating is Challenging

Due to the fact that Demisexuals are attracted to people based on their inner workings rather than their outer appearance, the world of Online Dating will be a very confusing place to them.

Looking for a partner based solely on appearance and a short description, might prove really tough for the Demi Sexual.

Demi Sexuals usually have to resort to finding people who bother filling in their “about me” section, or finding sites which cater more to matching people with similar interests.

Even so, reality often proves to be a skewed version of whatever people choose to present online, which is why the Demisexual usually has poor luck in finding a match from online dating sites.


5. Demi Sexuality is a Description, Not a Label

Even if you find that you identify as a Demi Sexual, you don’t have to let this term define you.

Demi-sexuality is a spectrum after all. It’s not a black or white situation we’re talking about here; but rather one with many shades of gray.

When you refer to yourself as a Demisexual, people tend to label you with prejudices and stereotype you with descriptions which doesn’t apply to you – so sometimes it’s best to keep things to yourself.

If you’re okay with labeling yourself as a Demi Sexual, and correcting people about aspects which aren’t true about yourself, it is also perfectly fine.

Just keep in mind that your preference does not define you. Just go with what you’re most comfortable with.


What Is A Demi Sexual: Concluding Insights on Understanding the Meaning & Definition of a Demisexual

In movies, the most romantic couples are seen as having a hot night of passion and discovering that they’re the love of each other’s’ lives, and a lot of people try to live up to this fantasy.

Often, it doesn’t happen in real life, and people with enough dating experience will realize this.

Some people Hook Up because it is “the norm”, and come to regret it later on in their lives because that’s just not who they are.

This might be the reason why people who identify as Demi Sexuals are on the rise, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.

As a Demisexual, your partner will be your best friend before they were your lover – what could be better than that, really?


(Last Updated: 27 June 2020)

About the Author

Kelvin Kevin is the Chief Marketing Officer and Chief Content Editor of the World-Renowned HappyMatches.com Dating App and Dating Site. An avid writer since young, he is an Expert Dating and Relationships Coach for Casual Dating, Serious Dating and General Dating. You can follow him on Twitter (@HowToDateBetter), and also check out his personal Dating Blog, for the latest Dating Advice and Dating Tips to help Straight, Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Singles and Couples find and enjoy Fulfilling and Intimate Dating Relationships.

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