Gay Hookup: Best First-Timer's Tips & Being Safe on Hookup Apps

If you’re a gay man trying to satisfy your libido, here are our top choices of gay hookup apps.

  • Best app for its variety: Grindr – Stamped and approved for its endless sea of gay men, it’s the best to find different tribes.  
  • Best app for fresh faces: Surge – You’ll find queer men who you won’t find in other popular apps. 
  • Best app for fast hookups: Wapo – Fast signups and easy to use, don’t be surprised with the message buildups in your inbox. 


Hooking up can be great fun and an interesting journey, as it could go either really great or an epic disaster.

To know what exactly is a hookup, read our pieces on the definition and meaning of it.

But, it is important to remember that hooking up shouldn’t be taken too seriously and should be FUN.

There are certain reasons why hookup culture could be great such as to explore your sexuality and what you like and don’t like.

The ups and downs are all part of it and should be embraced as part of your hookup journey!

It could be more rewarding putting yourself out there than not trying it at all, if it is something you think would suit you.

We have put together some great hookup advice for you if you are in the market for it.

With the great array of gay hookup apps out there, you don’t have to go to local gay bars or parties to find a great hookup partner.


5 Tips For First-Timers on Gay Hookup Apps


Now that you have downloaded Grindr, Scruff or Growlr and you’re sweeping through a crazy amount of mugshots, then what?

Your first time on these apps can be daunting so with the help of our gay friends, we have put together  a list of tips and advices through their trials and tribulations of exploring the world of gay apps.



1. Figure Out What You Want

Before you message anyone in the apps, take a bit of time to figure out what you want.

Although this is a hookup, narrowing it down can help save time and effort on your end and the other person’s as well.

Ask yourself these questions:

  • What type of men am I into?
  • What are you into in bed and possibly open to?
  • Where do you draw the line?

Other than saving time, knowing what you want always makes you more attractive to others and many admire this quality in people.


2. Don’t Use Photos From Years Ago

Don’t fall into the trap of uploading old photos of yourself in your profile.

Be true to yourself and pick a photo that represents who you are in the now.

If you use old photos, you risk misrepresenting yourself and misleading the person when you do meet and that is a no-no.

Be confident and comfortable with who you are now.

Don’t forget everyone is attracted to different physical and character attributes.

There is no one-size-fits-all.


3. List Your Interests In Your Profile

Don’t skip this step as it will help match you with people of the same interests.

Some apps uses the hashtag feature to list your interests.

Be upfront but don’t be off-putting so an example could be “a fun-loving #bear #top open to #hookups.”

Not having anything listed would definitely decrease your chances of finding matches as you have not given them a glimpse of who you are.


4. Drop Those With No Pictures and Time Wasters

At any time if anyone is obnoxious on the app, drop them.

These apps have a report or block feature that can be utilised for times like this.

So, if anyone with no pictures and are wasting your time with conversations of no end, you can block them as you don’t owe anyone a reply!

If there is someone you’re not into messaging you, a courteous reply would be nice but it all depends on you.

Move on to the abundant profiles sitting in front of you.


5. Be Direct and Friendly

When messaging for the first time, you may be at lost on what to say in your opening lines.

Here are some simple and direct examples of what you can say

  • “Really like your profile picture. What brings you here?”
  • “Love what you said in your profile. My name is Shaun. Nice to meet you.”

You get the drift.

Nothing creepy and plain simple friendliness.


6 Tips on Being Safe on Your Next Gay Hookup


Now that you are ready for an in-person meet-up with the person from the dating apps and you’re all systems go, remember that you’re meeting a stranger at the end of the day.

Your safety is a priority that you need to keep in mind before rushing into the sex.

Read on to find how you can make your hookups pleasurable yet safer!



1. Ask for Extra Photos

If the person only has one photo in his profile, feel free to ask for more.

You need to know who’s real and one of the ways to do that is to ask for photos of his face and not his dick.

You should get red flags if they say they only have that one photo and you should definitely not consider going to his house if this is the case.


2. Initiate a Video Call

Some apps have integrated a video call feature and you should definitely max this out.

Open up the subject if you guys can get on a video call and most should be happy to do that as it keeps them safe as well.

However if they get aggressive over your request, you may want to think twice, before going ahead with the hookup.

There are many fishes in the sea and you don’t have to settle for less, even for a hookup.


3. Talk About What You Want Sexually Before Meeting

If you are a person who must use a condom, make it know to them.

If you have specific positions you want to try or may be only up for oral sex, be upfront about it before meeting him.

This sets boundaries and leaves any unwanted surprises at the door.

Doing this also allows the person to state what they want and come to an agreement on what is okay and not okay to do.

This makes the experience only more pleasant at the end of the day.


4. Use Photo Verification Apps

A lot of apps are including photo verification to make their apps safer for users due to harassment.

This will give you the peace of mind of who you are chatting with and make your gay hookup journey generally safer.


5. Meet at a Public Place

You don’t need to rush to meet at his place or your place.

Suggest to meet at a public place first and don’t go to a part of town you’re not familiar with.

This also gives you a chance to tell what kind of person they are and if you get any weird vibes before going back to their place or your place.


6. It’s Okay To Say No

If you meet them and you don’t feel comfortable with the person, you can always say no and leave.

Just because you are interested in them, it doesn’t mean you give in to anything you’re not good with.

If you’re unsure, always go with your guts.

The same goes with when you go to their place and you get creepy vibes.

If you’re not feeling it, get out as soon as possible!

If you enjoyed this and want to know more about hookups, read our guide on hookups.



(Last Updated: 21 December 2020)

About the Author

Kelvin Kevin is the Chief Marketing Officer and Chief Content Editor of the World-Renowned Dating App and Dating Site. An avid writer since young, he is an Expert Dating and Relationships Coach for Casual Dating, Serious Dating and General Dating. You can follow him on Twitter (@HowToDateBetter), and also check out his personal Dating Blog, for the latest Dating Advice and Dating Tips to help Straight, Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Singles and Couples find and enjoy Fulfilling and Intimate Dating Relationships.

HappyMatches Dating & Relationships Resource

Bi Curious Dating | Bisexual Dating | Booty Call | Casual Dating | Casual Encounters | Casual Relationship | Casual Sex | Committed Relationship | Date Ideas | Dating Advice | Dating Apps | Dating Rules | Dating Sites | Dating Tips | Dating Websites | Demisexual | Exclusive Relationship | First Date Advice | First Date Ideas | First Date Questions | First Date Tips | Fling | Friend Zone | Friends With Benefits | Gay Dating | Ghosting | Healthy Relationships | Heterosexual Dating | Hook Up | How to Get a Boyfriend | How to Get a Girlfriend | How to Get Over a Breakup | Intimate Relationship | Lesbian Dating | Long Distance Relationship | Long Term Relationship | Mature Dating | Millionaire Dating | Monogamous Relationship | Non Monogamous Relationship | NSA Relationship | Omnisexual | One Night Stand | Online Dating | Open Marriage | Open Relationship | Pansexual | Platonic Friendship | Platonic Relationship | Rebound Relationship | Rich Men Dating | Romantic Relationship | Sapiosexual | Senior Dating | Serious Relationship | Settle Down | Sexting | Sexual Relationships | Short Term Relationship | Toxic Relationship | Vacation Sex | Valentines Day

Find Hookup, Fling & ONS NSA Partners Easily

Africa | Asia Pacific | Europe | Middle East | North America | South America


URL Path: LoginHappy Matches > Blog > Online Dating > Gay Dating > Gay Hookup

Copyright © 2021 by HappyMatches.comAll rights reserved.