It actually depends on who you’re asking.
Many have their own interpretations and definition of what it is.
Casual encounter is probably something you’ve encountered a couple of times and didn’t even realise it.
If you met someone at a bar, party or even from a dating app, slept with them and do it once or twice, but never pursued anything after that, that is a casual encounter.
The word “casual” here gives out a huge hint, whereby there is nothing serious about it and should be treated just that – casual.
There are no long-term commitments or emotional ties between the two people, who engage in casual encounters.
You may be with the person for an hour or two and part ways, never seeing each other again.
Casual encounters can actually teach you many things despite drawing flak by many, for its lack of emotions involved.
Casual encounters could be a journey of self-discovery and you learn a thing or two about yourself, and your interaction with other people.
Here are our top 5 lessons you could learn from casual encounters.
The romantics would beg to differ on this and that’s fine.
To each his own.
Sex has been romanticised in the media and depending on our culture or background, we have been taught that sex is only done with someone we love.
As you grow up, you realise that’s not always the case.
You learn you can have sex with someone very casually, just because both of you are attracted to one another or that you have some intense sexual chemistry.
Just because it is intense, it doesn’t mean it’s love.
You learn to differentiate the two and some people are able to compartmentalise both of them separately.
Unlike serious dating where you may hesitate to share your sexual fantasies, you don’t need to get nervous about telling them what you like and don’t like.
Because it is completely casual, you don’t need to hold back on telling them what you want.
And you are able to do so and not feel embarrassed about what the other person thinks because the pressure is off.
Also, you may learn that you can stand on your own and you’re not needy for someone to be in a relationship with.
When your hookup or casual fling has read your text but it’s left unanswered, you don’t take it personally anymore.
You become more confident and have a higher self-esteem as you begin to understand that who you are, is not dependant on their actions.
You are able to accept it without going nuts and questioning every single action you took that may have lead to the person ghosting you.
Life is short anyway.
Because you get laid by a number of people, you tend to pick certain things along the way.
And because there’s no overthinking about what the other person thinks about you, you are open to experimenting.
You pick up certain techniques and learn how to satisfy yourself and others in the process.
Hell, you get to reinvent yourself to try new techniques, especially if you’ve only been exposed to vanilla sex.
Through this, you get to understand what you’re into and what turns you off.
Just because it’s a casual hookup, it doesn’t mean that anything goes.
And it also means that you can say “No” to them whenever they want to do something which you’re not comfortable with.
Although it may be something casual, a person would know how to respect your boundaries, just the same as you would respect theirs.
If anyone wants you to do something you feel unsafe or uncomfortable including not using a condom, feel free to leave.
Through this practice, you’ll feel more empowered and confident, rather than second guessing yourself and your actions.
Because of the people you have had casual encounters with, you learn more about people and what qualities you admire and what you don’t.
You may learn that you would want to be with someone who isn’t into fad diets, enjoys sleeping late and is open to having lots of sex.
Plus, you may also realise that certain qualities you thought you wanted in a partner, have changed and that these are not actual deal breakers for you.
You’ll learn to better appreciate the person you want to be in a committed relationship with, after going through this phase.
Despite all the positive lessons you could learn from having casual hookups, it is not necessarily suitable for everyone.
There is no one-size-fits-all.
There are some people who go into it hoping that their casual partners would change their minds, to make the connection more permanent.
While we’ve all heard cases of flings getting together as a couple in the end, we can say that these cases are pretty rare and you shouldn’t go into a casual encounter, hoping it would change the person.
If your intention is to date seriously, then do it, rather than putting yourself at risk of getting hurt.
So all in all, think carefully of your intentions before getting into a hookup or fling and if it’s really suitable for you.
Don’t do anything that would cause you to crash and burn.
(Last updated: 15 December 2020)
About the Author
Kelvin Kevin is the Chief Marketing Officer and Chief Content Editor of the World-Renowned HappyMatches.com Dating App and Dating Site. An avid writer since young, he is an Expert Dating and Relationships Coach for Casual Dating, Serious Dating and General Dating. You can follow him on Twitter (@HowToDateBetter), and also check out his personal Dating Blog, for the latest Dating Advice and Dating Tips to help Straight, Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Singles and Couples find and enjoy Fulfilling and Intimate Dating Relationships.
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