Rebound Relationship Stages: Understand the 5 Different Phases of Rebound Dating a Person Goes Through After a Breakup
Rebound Relationships often follow a predestined pathway leading to failure.
It is never fair for the person being used as a stepping stone, for the other person to get themselves over the past, and ready for their next committed Serious Relationship.
Whether you’re the one being used, or the one using someone else as a rebound, it’s good to know the stages of a Rebound Relationship, so you’ll know where you stand.
Being a rebound boyfriend or rebound girlfriend is never a pleasant experience.
To protect yourself and prevent yourself from getting hurt, it’s extremely important for you to be able to understand the stages in which a person undergoing a rebound after a relationship breakup goes through … Enjoy!
You’re down in the dumps because your last relationship is done, and you know there is no way of returning to that time.
You want to move on, but you don’t feel ready. All of a sudden, someone conveniently walks into your life, offering the possibility of distracting you from yourself.
Under normal physiological conditions, you are not likely to be attracted to this person.
However, you are currently vulnerable and to be honest, kind of desperate.
Thus, with all the aforementioned factors playing in concerto, it initially seems that you’ve found the perfect person who wants you.
It doesn’t matter if you have nothing in common with them.
It doesn’t even matter if they’re someone who’s typically not “your type”.
All that matters if you have someone now who either makes you feel safe or attractive – they will momentarily seem perfect in your eyes regardless.
You want someone to echo, and validify what you’ve been consoling yourself with since your breakup.
This kind of mental stage is especially pertinent to those who’ve been dumped.
Typically, changes in outward appearance accompany this search and neediness to feel “loved” or appreciated again.
Even if you’re not the type to plunge into sexual adventures immediately after getting to know someone, getting physical is a major part of rebound relationships.
After finding that seemingly perfect person post-breakup, all you want to do is get freaky with them (i.e. Rebound Sex).
The stage of getting to know someone better, by talking to them about their dreams and aspirations or relationship goals is bypassed.
You don’t want to care about talking to someone to get to know them on a deeper emotional level, because all you want now is to be admired, adored, and to feel sexy.
This is particularly true of victims of cheating or infidelity.
You want this new partner to pour love and attention unto you, because you’re starved of it.
You want them to give you the world without you having to offer much in return.
Often, victims of cheating, particularly women, fall into this space of mind where there is no longer any point in loving someone wholeheartedly, because the last time they did that, they got hurt.
Thus, in the Rebound Relationship, they might choose someone who they’re sure they won’t fall in love with, but will love and adore them in return so that they will feel attractive.
Especially for those who’ve gone for drastic changes in their outer appearance, they need to engage in rebounds to test the waters and to reassure themselves that they’re still attractive.
This validation often takes the form of their rebound hungering for their body. Such actions are a means to reinstate the individual’s self-confidence.
Some people find that breaking up deals a huge blow to their ego.
They’re afraid of what their friends, family and acquaintances might think.
They don’t want to be seen as this “loser” who is single when everyone else is attached.
They don’t like feeling this way, therefore their solution is to get attached again as quickly as possible.
This rebound has come at the right time for you to snag so that you can show everyone that hey, you’re wanted.
It’s your ex’s loss that they gave you up, because you’re in such high demand.
You make it a point to show everyone (especially your ex) how wonderful this new person is compared to your ex, disregarding whether or not what you’re showing the world is truly representative of what is going on.
If you’re in a relationship with someone new and you see them doing this to you, you might be in this stage of a Rebound Relationship.
You might feel like you’re an object rather than someone with feelings.
If you’re the one using someone else for this purpose, you might not realize it, but you’re hurting the new person you’re with by acting this way, just to make yourself feel that tiny bit better.
You’ve rushed into a new relationship and everything is going peachy.
That is, until you realize that this new person doesn’t hold a candle to your ex in any aspect at all.
Your ex was better looking, had a better dress sense, had a better sense of humor.
You’ve never been irritated at someone every five minutes for something stupid they said.
You often react disproportionately negatively to something they do, which displeased you.
These events show that you’re in the midst of a rebound relationship, whereby you’ve gotten over the honeymoon stages and are in the process of taking off the rose-tinted glasses.
The way you’re feeling is nobody’s fault except your own – in fact, you’re being extremely unfair to your new partner.
This constant comparison you’re subjecting them to is due to one fact and one fact alone – you’ve not gotten over your old flame.
Therefore you’re trying to justify your feelings by getting angry at someone who isn’t at fault.
You’re still looking to go back to the way things were, albeit with a new person, because you haven’t gotten over the way those memories made you feel.
You want this new person to make you feel the same way but they can’t, because all relationships are different.
You know this, yet you’re acting this way because you’ve gotten to the stage whereby you’ve gotten over the novelty of your rebound.
Again, you’re hurting your rebound boyfriend/girlfriend, because they have no idea what’s going on in your head, other than that you’re moody and angsty for no reason almost all the time.
They’re fighting a losing, invisible battle and it’s extremely unfair for them.
When Stage 4 has gone on for long enough, there will come a point in your rebound relationship where you can’t lie to yourself any longer.
All the initial infatuation and sexual desire is long gone, and you’re tired of showing them off to an audience which doesn’t seem to give a damn.
You can’t deal with the irritation of your rebound constantly losing to your ex in comparison, and you have to admit to yourself that you’re no longer attracted to this person.
You realize that you’re still harping on your ex.
You know that it’s okay to stop pretending to be okay, because frankly, no one is paying that close of an attention to what’s going on in your romantic life.
You’re tired of faking a beautiful Committed Relationship with someone you don’t really care about any longer.
You’ve also realized how much harm you’re causing to your rebound, and that ending this sort of relationship is better the sooner it is done than later.
You now need to let them know that the way you’re feeling and the way this relationship is turning out is by no means any fault of theirs, and you have to end the relationship in a respectful manner.
You need to make it clear, but not too hurtful. You are now ready to move on.
You know you don’t have to rush into your next relationship, and you’re well on your way to healing.
There you go, the 5 Stages in a Rebound Relationship!
Are you in a rebound, and are using someone to help you get over your last relationship?
Or have you realized, you’re being used for someone else’s purposes?
Hopefully you’ve reached a better understanding on the matter after having a read on this.
(Last Updated: 27 June 2020)
About the Author
Kelvin Kevin is the Chief Marketing Officer and Chief Content Editor of the World-Renowned HappyMatches.com Dating App and Dating Site. An avid writer since young, he is an Expert Dating and Relationships Coach for Casual Dating, Serious Dating and General Dating. You can follow him on Twitter (@HowToDateBetter), and also check out his personal Dating Blog, for the latest Dating Advice and Dating Tips to help Straight, Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Singles and Couples find and enjoy Fulfilling and Intimate Dating Relationships.
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