If you’ve been thinking of initiating casual sex with a friend, you are not alone.
For those who may be confused on what a Friends with Benefits (FWB) relationship is, this article has defined it as “an integration of friendship and sexual intimacy, typically without the explicit commitments characteristic of an exclusive romantic relationship.”
FWB is great to have amazing sex with someone you have chemistry with and trust while some even find it fulfilling.
Plus, the allure of FWBs is undeniable to say the least.
The sex without any commitments makes this arrangement irresistible, like one of those food ads where you can’t help but want to take a bite out of it.
Navigating through a FWB, though, is not exactly like what is portrayed in the movies.
So if you’ve been eyeing on your friend and want to dive into the FWB wilderness, read these top tips on how to make your move without ruining your friendships and getting the sexy time you’ve been yearning for.
There is no one way of doing it but there are better ways of broaching the subject with your friend.
Bring it up in a “not-a-such-a-big-deal” way to prevent the conversation from spiralling into a super awkward situation and most probably parachuting yourself into rejection land.
Be as playful and flirtatious as you set the tone right by being open but keeping it respectful.
At the end of the day, your friend may not be too cool about you asking him or her to shag but not date.
So, keeping it respectful would go a long way in making it less awkward.
If the person isn’t interested, there is room for him or her to say no and move on with ease.
This works if the person you’re attracted to is in the same group of friends as you.
The perfect time to do this is when they ask you what’s been happening in your love life during a catch-up session.
You could say something along the lines of “Work and life have been too crazy lately that I don’t have the time to date and I wish I could find someone I already know to have a FWB with.”
If the person is equally interested, you’ve opened up gateway for him or her to talk casually with you about engaging in casual sex.
See what you did there?
Totally casual and you liberated yourself from any risk of embarrassment.
No harm done.
If you’re worried about risking any of your current friendships but still itching for a FWB, try FWB apps.
This is great if you are hesitant to get a FWB in your own circle of friends and don’t want to step into a landmine of problems that could potentially blow up your social life.
Finding FWBs is the main function of these apps and when you do match with someone there, there is no second guessing on what the other person is expecting.
So, no need to get into unpleasant conversations and checking if the person is into a committed relationship or is looking for a FWB arrangement, as these apps have done the guesswork for you!
This makes it easier to nail the final step, which is to set a meet and let it take off from there.
If it’s all systems go on having a FWB arrangement between you two, be clear on both of your expectations.
This is a crucial step in initiating a FWB arrangement especially if you have intentions of keeping the person in your life, rather than sending the friendship down into a messy mush at the end of it.
Take the time to bring up things like if both of you will be seeing other people, how often you can see each other and what happens if one of you starts developing feelings for the other.
It may seem difficult to bring all these up initially, but it is a great way to also learn more about one another and how both of you react to such conversations.
And it goes a long way as this builds on the trust both of you already have.
Take the opportunity to tell the person that in order for this to work, both of you need to be able to communicate and be open to one another.
You don’t want to be caught in a situation where one of you has developed feelings and has been bottling it up inside, while the other has no idea what’s going on.
It only paves the way for disappointment, hurt and jealousy, which could potentially sour the friendship.
So, save yourselves from the misery and have this much-needed conversation so you get the ton of fun you guys signed up for!
(Last updated: 30 October 2020)
About the Author
Kelvin Kevin is the Chief Marketing Officer and Chief Content Editor of the World-Renowned HappyMatches.com Dating App and Dating Site. An avid writer since young, he is an Expert Dating and Relationships Coach for Casual Dating, Serious Dating and General Dating. You can follow him on Twitter (@HowToDateBetter), and also check out his personal Dating Blog, for the latest Dating Advice and Dating Tips to help Straight, Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Singles and Couples find and enjoy Fulfilling and Intimate Dating Relationships.
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