Friends with Benefits (FWB) is common to say the least and beyond just a college culture.
Many people of different ages are jumping on this trend, especially in the midst of catching up with their busy schedules and life.
Students love it as it means being able to have casual sex among friends they’re attracted to, while others deem it the perfect way to have something more meaningful (and potentially safer) than a hookup, but not looking to jump into anything too serious.
The thing about FWB is that the meaning can be as diverse as the different individuals, who exist on this planet.
After all, everyone forms connections in various ways.
No two bonds are the same.
We unravelled some meanings to give you clearer picture and we’ll even throw in a guide for you on how to hookup without catching feelings in a FWB.
The Health Site has defined FWB happens “when people are in a sexual relationship but there is no love or any feelings involved.”
Dictionary.com has has defined FWB as “a fwb or friend with benefits is a friend someone occasionally has casual sex with.”
So, simply put there is no hard and fast rules but there must be certain boundaries, agreed beforehand, to avoid things getting complicated.
A FWB arrangement must be well-understood with clarity by both parties to avoid getting attached and hurt the other person.
So, without further a due, we have put together a full guide on how to not catch feelings and without emotional attachments during your FWB relationships.
I know what you’re thinking.
“Oh great. As if finding a guy I’m attracted to wasn’t enough, now I have to filter?”.
This will save you so much time and unnecessary pain if you do this.
The partner who would be perfect for FWB should be someone who is not (and I repeat, not) boyfriend or girlfriend material.
Someone who has enough flaws that you know would totally turn you off in a relationship.
In other words, enough pet peeves for you to steer clear of a relationship with the person.
Take your time and do not rush this step.
Once you have found the suitable person to embark in your FWB journey, sit down and have an honest conversation about what both of you would like it to be.
It can get uncomfortable or awkward, but it’ll only last for a couple minutes versus dealing with the aftermath mess if you skip this step.
Plus, this is an adult arrangement between two people.
Answer these important questions (but not limited to these) together:
Don’t spend less time on your career, those closest to you and what is important to you, just because you have a FWB now.
Create memories and spend your energy and time creating a life away from him/her and make it wonderful.
This is a very important advice to remember.
If you divert from it, you tend to start latching onto that person and that could create a committed relationship-like bond and risk getting romance into the mix.
If you like to meet new people, read, workout or create art, do that instead of investing all of your time and energy into your FWB partner.
If your prolong your FWB arrangement, you’re more likely to tip over to a relationship.
And that could also mean developing feelings for the person.
So, if both of you have agreed to how long this FWB relationship will last, stick with it and don’t take it for granted.
Just like your food, you don’t consume them once they have passed their expiry date.
It is tempting to just sleep over and cuddle while talking about life.
But this will create a certain attachment that could potentially get stronger as you spend more time on the bed together.
So, make it clear that it is not rude to leave after the deed and agree on when you’ll see each other next.
It keeps the arrangement decent but avoiding the romantic notions.
If both of you have agreed that you are not exclusively sleeping with one another, live life to the fullest!
Feel free to see other people and that doesn’t mean you have to sleep with the others.
You get the gist.
Have other men/women in your life so you don’t put the person in a microscope and daydream about him/her.
Do not make your FWB partner feel special such as serving drinks and food after sex. Or even over-texting him/her.
If you have no intentions of pursuing something more serious with the person, don’t lead the person on and keep it casual.
This is where it could get tricky.
You need to communicate enough with the person to make sure both sides are on the same page on your FWB page.
However, don’t overshare about your life with the person.
You may lose access to this person if they start going into something more serious with someone else.
That being said, do check in with them once awhile.
Just because you’re in a casual FWB with the person, it doesn’t mean not texting to find out how the other person is once in awhile.
You guys are still friends after all.
Just make sure to keep the conversations super casual and if you are in need of a deep conversation, call a close friend of yours!
Hence, the importance of keeping your priorities straight!
(Last updated: 15 October 2020)
About the Author
Kelvin Kevin is the Chief Marketing Officer and Chief Content Editor of the World-Renowned HappyMatches.com Dating App and Dating Site. An avid writer since young, he is an Expert Dating and Relationships Coach for Casual Dating, Serious Dating and General Dating. You can follow him on Twitter (@HowToDateBetter), and also check out his personal Dating Blog, for the latest Dating Advice and Dating Tips to help Straight, Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Singles and Couples find and enjoy Fulfilling and Intimate Dating Relationships.
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