I hate breakups and anything that feels like putting an end to something.
It has a way of giving you that gut-wrenching feeling, that makes you almost sick to your stomach.
Even if it is something as casual as a hookup relationship, it ain’t a fun feeling.
After years of practice and a wee bit of mistakes along the way, I’ve learnt a great deal on how to deal with it.
While the process of rejecting someone is painful, you don’t need to make a run for it.
Having an open and mature conversation about uncomfortable topics, always opens the highway for self-growth and maturity.
While you cannot control how the other person reacts, I found a great deal of self-discovery through breaking up with my hookups in the right way.
Also, the other person may just actually surprise you (as I’ve experienced countless of times in the past) and both of you may end up having a cordial conversation after!
Zero drama (not kidding here!).
So, here are our top ways on how to “break up” a casual relationship the right way.
Take the time to really think things through and ask yourself why you want to end it.
Although it’s only a hookup that has been going on and off, it is normal for the other person to know why and you should also identify your reason for yourself.
Once you’ve made the absolute decision to end it, write down your thoughts and what you want to say if necessary.
No one needs to know you wrote down anything and you can keep it for yourself.
It could even help you in your self-discovery journey when you look back and see how much you’ve grown!
There is really no better way of ending things between you two.
But what you should absolutely not do is calling it off through text or even emails.
Meeting face-to-face is the decent way of carrying it out and not leaving the person hanging because that is absolutely cruel, even for something as casual as this.
Get it done like an adult and do not ghost the person!
Your ex-partner-in-crime will totally appreciate this gesture and you would too if the roles were reversed.
Talk more about your own needs and desire on why the hookup relationship has to end, rather than on possible shortcomings on their end.
Also bring up why you enjoyed your time with them such as their goofy personality and how much you liked the sex part of the relationship.
If you share with them the positive qualities you like in them, it will let them know how much you appreciate them and the time you spent together.
Don’t take the easy way out and blame the situation on someone or something.
This can only makes things worst for the both of you.
Because it makes the other person not accept the decision.
Be specific when explaining why it has run its course, whether it is getting serious with someone else or that the sex was fun while it lasted but it’s time to move on.
You may avoid it because you feel guilty but trust me, you need to tell the truth even if it may sting the other person.
If you guys are in touch on social media, talk about whether it is best to unfollow each other for a clean break.
If you have decided to still remain on each other’s social media, don’t keep the interaction going there.
In today’s world, it causes the other person to overthink and may be taking it as a hint that you’re still into them.
Also, it really makes a dent to the moving on process.
It is still possible that the other person may not take the breakup well and may demonstrate some anger, stemming from being hurt.
So, be prepared if the person doesn’t take it well.
And know that it is okay, especially if you have been respectful in explaining your position.
If you feel some residual hurt or guilt, talk to your friends for support and to remind yourself of who you are.
Difficult situations do help one to grow and it’s part and parcel of life.
Don’t get discouraged by the person’s reaction and know that you did the right thing for the both of you.
If you were not happy with the relationship (no matter what kind it was), both of you will end up in the pits if you don’t end it now.
Some do this to avoid pursuing the uncomfortable conversation or to have a so-called “last romp”.
This would only lead to more confusion and hurt, turning it into a recipe for disaster.
And it prolongs the pain of the rejected partner.
So make it a clean break and avoid needing to clean up the mess later.
If both of you have decided not to keep in touch after, then stick to it.
Avoid the common mistakes of agreeing to not be in contact and suddenly popping a text saying, “Want to grab a drink together?”.
Let the person move on and don’t torture him or her with uncertainties.
And instead of thinking about them after breaking up, try meeting new people instead on the many hookup apps available now if you’re still looking for another hookup.
(Last updated: 18 November 2020)
About the Author
Kelvin Kevin is the Chief Marketing Officer and Chief Content Editor of the World-Renowned HappyMatches.com Dating App and Dating Site. An avid writer since young, he is an Expert Dating and Relationships Coach for Casual Dating, Serious Dating and General Dating. You can follow him on Twitter (@HowToDateBetter), and also check out his personal Dating Blog, for the latest Dating Advice and Dating Tips to help Straight, Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Singles and Couples find and enjoy Fulfilling and Intimate Dating Relationships.
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