How To End A Hookup Relationship: 5 Rules for Ending a Casual Hookup Relationship
Their late night texts are giving you fewer butterflies, their liberal use of fruit and vegetable emojis isn’t that cute anymore, and frankly, you’ve never really been that into their Netflix choices either.
Perhaps this Casual Hookup Relationship is running its natural course for you – but what should you do if the other person isn’t feeling the same way?
Everyone’s been on the “I like them more than they like me” end of a relationship before, and we all know how terrifyingly vulnerable it can feel. So be sure to keep that in mind when preparing to end your friendship with benefits – it could feel a whole lot less casual for them.
However, the very tempting alternative of avoiding confrontation to save them the potential heartbreak, and just hoping the relationship will eventually fade away, can often end up being a cruel, lingering experience. Don’t do it – you’re better than that.
Here are our Top 5 Rules on How to End a Hookup Relationship, while still maintaining your good vibes and, ultimately, respect for each other – and yourself!
This is hands-down the number one cardinal sin of the digital hookup age.
Yes, we know how tempting it can be – it’s so easy, it gets you off the hook, and if the other person isn’t part of your inner social circle, chances are you’ll probably never see them again or have to deal with the consequences of your bad behaviour.
One word of advice: don’t mess with karma.
According to Carrie Bradshaw, there’s only one good way to break up with someone – to their face. But in this age of hookup apps and instant messaging, we feel the rules can be relaxed a little.
Whichever way you choose to communicate, what matters most in the end is that you have the courage to be clear about your intention.
It’s always best to be direct about where you’re at – something like “I don’t think it’s the best idea for us to keep hanging out” keeps it light but leaves no room for doubt.
Honour what you both had with honesty. The lesser side of yourself might tempt you to sneak out the side door with something like “I’m moving to another country” – an excuse that allows you to emerge from this blame-free – but lying will only complicate your life and devalue your relationships.
Be sincere – you don’t have to go into heavy soul searching, but you can still explain where you’re coming from, perhaps with something like “I’m looking for something a bit different.”
Ending any relationship, even a casual, short-term one, can feel sudden and unexpected and even unreasonable to the other person. Be prepared for some pushback; give them a chance to respond and be heard.
It’s always hard to be in a position in which you’re making someone feel bad, but don’t cave in just to make them feel better – hold your ground but show respect by listening and acknowledging.
It doesn’t mean you have to change your position, and this will help allow them to process what has just happened.
You’ve made the call to end it, so don’t keep showing up on their social media or waylaying them with unexpected text messages.
Restrain your Instagram likes or Snapchat comments, or it may seem like you don’t actually mean what you’re saying.
Old patterns are hard to break, but you got what you wanted, which is to end it, so stick to your guns.
We believe that Casual Hookup Relationships don’t have to be throwaway.
Yes, hookup culture is everywhere, and there’s absolutely no shame in loving and maintaining your own freedom and independence. But keeping things casual doesn’t have to mean disregarding another person’s feelings – in fact, it takes maturity and consideration to do casual hookups well.
Don’t set the precedence for a “use once and discard” pattern for your relationships – you can still keep things light with honour and respect.
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